So I’m back in London.
I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone. Wasn’t it only yesterday that I was boarding a plane to South Africa?!?!
This sabbatical was EXACTLY what I needed. I've come back to the Big Smoke with clarity and a renewed sense of purpose and perspective.
My creativity and energy are rejuvenated.
Seeing my parents
The most important reason for my going back home was to see my parents. I’ve become acutely aware of how much relationships mean to me and that I must make the time and space to nurture them. I’m like a Victorian dandy like that. Money means almost nothing to me.
Ma and paps, I know you’re both reading this and I love you both very much. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me! 😘
Seeing South Africa
Another important reason I wanted to take this break is that I wanted to see South Africa again and spend time doing the things and in the places that I love. Cape Town, the Karoo, St. Lucia, and the Drakensberg. It was magical. Especially places like the Karoo. I am a massive fan of the dry country and regularly entertain fantasies of living there.
I was foolish though to think that letting go of these places, once it came time to leave, would be easy. Honestly, it has left me more confused about where home is for me. Before I left London, it was crystal clear that London is home. Now, sitting in -5 degree temperatures, I find myself missing South Africa and its wonderful energy. Sigh.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find resolution on where home is for me. But what I’ve realized is that this is just something that I have to learn to live with.
The river that we played in as children. Durban, 2023.
A baby monkey in the Frangipane tree outside my parents' kitchen window. Durban, 2023.
In the Drakensberg, cows have right of way. Drakensberg, KwaZulu-Natal, 2023.
A mountain valley. Drakensberg, 2023.
A stunning Bushman rock painting of a shaman in a trance. The bubble shapes along their body suggests the trance. Giant's Castle, Drakensberg, 2023.
A river in the 'Berg. 2023.
The Karoo desert. 2023.
The Karoo desert. 2023.
The Karoo desert. 2023.
The Karoo desert. 2023.
Table Mountain, Cape Town, 2024.
A hippo at St. Lucia in KZN, Christmas Day, 2023.
A new beginning!
On a happier note, I’ve started a new job! In the music industry as well! I’m working as a part time communications assistant for a music company and I’m really loving it. The people are great, the work is meaningful, and it is so lovely to be working with creative people again. I love working from home, but doing it all the time? No. This job is two days a week and that’s perfect for me.
I’ll need to find additional work though……..
…Patrons
I realized in SA that I need creative freedom and that I don’t want to be under the pressure that would come of having a recording contract. Building up patronage for my music is perfect for this and is what I want to focus on building up for 2024. I already have a small base of loyal patrons for which I am super grateful. So I’ll be putting a lot more thought and work into growing this. Currently I’m offering early access to my new songs and special mentions in my music videos. I plan on building up my offering as I grow my patronage.
…
…Gigging
I’ve also been giving a lot thought to trying my hand at gigging. I enjoy playing covers, you learn a lot from playing other people’s songs, and I’m good at it.
I had every intention of learning my gigging repertoire while in South Africa. I managed to get a couple more songs under my belt, but not as many as I intended. I was torn between applying for jobs and re-skilling when, really, I should’ve been solely focused on learning my repertoire.
The clarity that I now have has only recently come to me. I was all over the place during the first couple months in SA. I’m learning to be gentle with myself about it this. Prior to getting this job I was pretty stressed about finding work and that anxiety distracted me. I’m a lot more chilled about work now, so I’ll focus on learning more covers once I’m settled in so that I can start pimping my piano out to pubs and bars.
I recorded snippets of Crocodile Rock and Another Love while in SA. I’ll record better videos soon.
London Town
I finally found a way forward to write the lyrics for London Town. Up until recently, I had been battling to write them because I didn’t have a very clear idea of what the song is about. Having a clear idea is CRITICAL for me to write lyrics.
I’ve had the musical idea for London Town for a while now. Initially, I focused on my struggle with living in London. However, as I started feeling like London is home, I realized that I didn’t want to focus on this anymore. I want to tell a more nuanced story about my life in London and the music I had already written for it just was not lending itself to that. But how?????
One day while in SA, I was talking to my dad a realization hit me: the thing that made London feel like home for me was when I finally made a friend. London is hard, frightening, and cruel. But it’s also immensely creative, vibrant, free, and fun.
I figured out that the way to capture this – having a friend in London –, with gentle honesty, could be perfectly told through a fictitious encounter between myself and a kind old man in one of my favorite coffee shops in London.
This stranger is an old man who moved to London decades ago to make it in music. He too struggled, but what he eventually learned, through significant toil, is that the way to truly make London home is by having a friend.
I was floored. And the lyrics have just fallen onto the page like meat off the bone.
I was sitting in a coffee shop in Cape Town recently and was about to pay and leave when an old man walked in and sat down. I couldn't believe it. This was the old man from my song! I ran back to my table and frantically started taking notes about him – how he moved, held himself, his facial expressions, his hair etc. I love building character sketches for my songs and this guy gave me everything I needed to bring the old man in my song to life! The muse bit me hard!
I’ll need to write new music for it now as the music I had written for it doesn't work with this idea. But that’s piss easy for me thanks to my classical training.
Speaking of which…..
Music theory, ABRSM exams
I haven’t said much about this but I’ve been working through my grade 6 music theory and would very much like to do the exam this year. It’s going very slowly because I’m doing it in the little spare time that I have.
I’m doing it mostly because I love it. A lot of it is not necessary for writing popular music. But I’m a music theory nerd. I’ve also realized that my musical creativity needs that kind of structure to flourish. It helps me find creative path ways to explore, get lost in, and most importantly, find my way out of.
I’ll also hopefully be doing my grade 6 piano practical exam later this year. As with theory, it’s slow going. I also just love it. It not only helps me become a better pianist, but it also help me write better songs because I can physically do more with the piano.
Anyway, that was a long letter. Im back in London. I’m focusing on settling in this week and not freezing to death.
I’m really going to try and make some giant leaps for humankind in my music career this year and I promise to keep you all updated.
Thank you as always for your support.
Sibuor